Relatively speaking, the "date" part of a first date is the easy stuff.
It's the post-date communication that is so hard to figure out. David Ezell, the clinical director of Darien Wellnessa counseling and mental wellness group in Connecticut, conducts dating workshops and told me that "the topic of texting has risen sharply over the past five years.
Ezell continued, "Dating is as much a sales game as anything. So, what do you say, and how do you text after the first date? You need to be aware that there is no set formula or exact science, because there is an infinite amount of first date scenarios.
And no, you are not the only one with anxiety over what texts to send after After first date initial date. If the date was great and you want a second, you can carefully craft your communication in cute fashion.
If it was awful but you don't want to be ignorant and not respond, you can still let 'em down easy. You can also get to date two even if date one was "meh" based on calculated post-date transmissions. Here are the perfect texts to send after the first date, depending on how well things went. Justin Lavelle of PeopleLooker.
Lavelle told me, "Who knows? It might lead to a little text flirting that can be fun and a perfect cap to the evening! When the first date is amazing and you want to see him or her again but don't want to seem too eager, it is essential to play it safe and express your excitement without going After first date and scaring the other person away with your zealousness.
Comedian Billy Procida, host of The Manwhore Podcast After first date, which tackles issues of dating, sexuality, and relationships, admitted to me, "I hate the 'playing it cool' tactic. If you're excited, then seem excited! You can seem excited and not like a crazypants. So, to play it safe, keep it short.
Sexy girl jeans butt
He finished, "If you can express the entire date in emojis, do it. End with a happy girl or boy emoji followed with some hands in the air. Yes, that Procida-penned text is cute and cheesy. But it's also incredibly effective for scenarios in which the date was totally awesome and After first date want to express it in a sassy and original way that shows off more of your personality.
" I think we can...
If someone sent me that text, I'd so be game for date No. If the bank metaphor isn't quite working for you, you can try something with a similar start and finish. When the first date is After first date but you don't want to dive right in or appear overly interested because you are easing back into dating, or because you aren't looking for something too serious After first date, Procida recommends suggesting an afternoon meet up for the second date and for very specific reasons.
If the first date was awkward — which so many are — but not disastrous, it's fine to remain optimistic. If you want to see the other person again but can't tell if he or she shares your feelings, Procida thinks honesty is the best policy. I'm all for putting cards on the table. When the first date was amazing but you want to pace yourself, this short but sweet text is the best way keep the other person interested, according to Melissa Divaris Thompson, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in New York City.
The note shows the recipient that you are in-demand and have a life outside of your romantic relationships, potential or otherwise.
It also puts some time and space between the first date and gives you both something to look forward to, since you've clearly set the table for another meet up. Even if it was a good-but-not-great first date, you can still see both potential and value in a second date. If you are willing to give it another go, you can try and mix it up to get a better result and attempt to get to know each other more.
Thompson told me you don't want to be overly complimentary or put off. You can and should play the middle. She noted, "Keeping texts simple is a rule. You want to communicate just enough, but not so that After first date are reading into what you are trying to say. Strive for being as clear, concise, and honest as feels appropriate. Dating and relationships expert Alison Blackman recommends mentioning a specific After first date you may have discussed while on the first date as grounds to generate a second if you really dig the other person.
If you talked about seeing the latest Marvel movie, bring it up and use it as a launch pad to turn the shared desire to see a film into the reason to see After first date other again. It's also a subtle way to demonstrate to the other person that you have been thinking about them and the prior outing.
It shows you were paying attention and may have shared passions and interests, which could lead to a third, fourth, or fifth date. Davis offered this After first date, sexy, and subtext-free transmission as a wonderful way to put a period on the end of the sentence After first date was your date.
If the time together was wonderful and leaves you with butterflies, why not share it with the person who is causing you to have that tickle in your tummy? That means sparks flew and you'll never know if he or she felt the same unless you put it out there.
After a terrific first date,...
It could also lead to a little sexting, and what's the harm in that? It's entirely up to you and your gut feeling whether or not that's moving way too fast.
If it was a fab debut date and you are already crushing, it's time to hit the flirt button. Davis told me, "Remember to flirt! If you don't flirt, they might not get the hint that you're interested. But you don't want to come off chilly or disinterested, either. So, be flirtatious with a sexy text like the one suggested above.
It's just the right mix of playful, naughty, and adorable. Jennifer Seiter, co-owner and relationship therapist for Ex Boyfriend Recoverypointed out that an ego boost, combined with letting him know you want a second date in a lighthearted way, can be doubly packaged into a text like this.
Obviously, you can tailor the transmission to whatever you did on the date — bowling, a movie, ice skating, dinner, attending a baseball game, miniature After first date, or dancing — all the while recommending a rematch of sorts! Davis concurred, "If you do want to go on another date, be flirty and generous and say, 'Hey we should try that again; this time I'll buy.
After first date you can't tell how he or she felt about the date or about you, this complimentary text can help you get a better read After first date them, all the while being clear about what you think and felt.
It's a subtle, psychological tactic, but it could and should work in your favor as long as you send it out into the textverse with confidence.
Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapistrecommended pointing out something about the date that was good when you want to see someone again without seeming excessively eager.
This brings the best part of the date to the forefront of the other person's mind. Lavelle also advocates for this texting tactic. Whether the date was terrific or just OK, Needle suggested being blunt and cute with a text like this if you are looking for that decidedly less awkward second date with this person.
It acknowledges the innately awkward nature of the first date, which Procida also advocates doing, and shows that you are well aware of it. It's also incredibly, but not disarmingly, direct. It lets your After first date mate know exactly where you stand. Why beat around the bush? A post-date message After first date thanks goes a long way and keeps communication going to plan that second outing.
Daniels also recommended connecting the dots for the other person for the second date by suggesting it, all the while leaving it up to them to lock it down. She told me, "If you want to see them again, a compliment plus a suggestion about a related activity will do wonders to solidify a second date.
A good first date is...
Let them be the one to pursue the second date plans, though. While you might argue that there is no reason to send a text if the first date was a bomb, you can still be a polite human being. If this crappy, After first date of a first date ended on a positive note, with both of you promising to keep in touch because you are both cool people with common interests even though you don't want to pursue romanceyou can say this to soften the blow.
Rejection is awkward, as Thompson pointed out. But if you want to keep in contact, here's how to convey that without leading the other person on After first date the dating stuff. These are some of the general golden rules of post-first date texts. Blackman pointed out that it's totally acceptable to not text if a date was bad.
Needle also recommended a more direct communication method — real, live conversation without relying on a smart phone.
"Did you get home safely?"
But if you have misread it and you were the only one having a good time, and your enthusiastic texts are met with silence or a cool response, accept that message," Lavelle told me. Politeness is also key. Always drop a "Thank you for a great evening!
Texts to send after a first date. My schedule is pretty tight the next couple of weeks. Can you do an afternoon this week? You helped me end a long day on a good note!
I'd really like to see you again if you're up for it? Can we get together next week? Great job with all of those strikes. I am going to After first date so next time I actually have a chance to beat you. I think you would love the lattes at Not sure if this would even interest you but wanted to put it out there. It wasn't until much later that I stopped to consider the most important question to ask yourself after a first date: How do I feel about them?.
Here are the perfect texts to send after the first date, depending on how well things went. Going on a first date with a match is exciting, After first date are you prepared for what happens afterwards as well?.
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