Big community funding update! How do I motivate myself for school in the aftermath of breakup? April 14, 9: Unfortunately I have to write five papers in the next month and a half that I have hardly done any research for. And give a giant presentation.
I am freaking out. I was dating someone for the past two months or so and he just broke up with me a few days ago. This may not be a super-long relationship in the context of other peoples' experiences, but it had been a long time since I had anything this long I was counting it out and it came out to six and a half years.
I don't know how much I was really into this guy outside of the physical thing, but we did have some things in common and I had some hope that it might develop as I got to know him better.
So, I'm feeling like an emotional wreck. The thing is, I have a ton of school work that I guess I let creep up on me, though I didn't think I was that behind.
I think dating this guy was taking up a lot How to concentrate on studies after breakup my mental energy. Now, I am so stressed out about this that the past couple of days all I can think of besides breakups and relationships, and the thing I had with this guy is somehow fleeing the situation.
I feel very un-motivated and apathetic about my work. I keep making up elaborate fantasies about quitting school. I have made a couple attempts to try to work on one or more of these research papers, but I come to some block in the research can't find sources or can't concentrate on what I am reading and then am off browsing the internet or walking around crying over the breakup.
Oh, yes I am a mess and I actually have an appointment with a therapist for a bit later in the week, but if you have any ideas for ways to stop freaking out about the school work thing and start feeling motivated despite everything stories of overcoming intense workloads in times of stress? I would appreciate hearing them. Set a timer and do say 30 minutes of work then give yourself a break.
I'm sure you can concentrate for half an hour and that should in itself be motivating. I find that having a small and achievable goal often helps me when I'm feeling scattered, the smaller and more concrete the better. How to concentrate on studies after breakup example "do research" isn't a good goal but do a search of X database for 20 minutes or find 2 applicable papers might be. Pick the easiest paper to start on so you get achieve something.
You're going to be ok breakups are hard but hopefully once you get the papers underway, always the hardest part, you can channel some of the negative energy into getting things done. Maybe not all of humanity has been there, but I say with confidence that a big part of the Metafilter demographic, myself very much included, has been there.
Not everyone would agree, but if you need to finish the semester, I say cut down your life to library, meals, and walking for fresh air or whatever other leisure activity you enjoy. Meet friends for a meal since you have to eat anyway? Sure, that is fine. Otherwise you will make no headway. You can moderately drown your sorrows after papers are done!!! If no one can help out in that regard, then find the absolute cheapest treat for your budget coffee is reappearing and indulge in that to the extent How to concentrate on studies after breakup can.
Better a C than an extension. Triage the school work. Prioritize anything for any professor that isn't flexible.
Approach anyone who is flexible and ask for an extension. I usually sort things out into two piles: Quick Hits-These are things that will be easily and quickly done.
I like to do these first because I can do them, and then check them off the list. Longer Projects-Whatever is remaining, sort them from easiest to hardest to do, again, under the principle that as you complete things, they move off of your list and make you feel as though you are accomplishing things.
As for the quality of this work, decide that you made a bad decision in getting distracted for a boy.
Accept that this is just one of those things, and that you'll live through it. Now, don't let perfect be the enemy of "good enough". Getting these completed and out to the professors is the most important thing, getting an A isn't.
If you can knock one thing out per week, or however it best suits you to sort out the time then you can get back on track. When you speak to your professors, please just tell them that you've been dealing with "a family crisis" and that you've been distracted. Explain that you want to get back on track while preserving the best grade possible. They'll work with you, especially if your work has been good up until this point. I took an archeology How to concentrate on studies after breakup in college.
I went to every session, I studied, I wrote good papers. I sat down for the exam and I could not answer ONE question. I freaked and flew out of there. The professor called me at home and asked me to come into his office. He offered to let me write a research paper, recommended a book to use and gave me an I for the class. I completed How to concentrate on studies after breakup paper and my grade changed to an A. I would have taken an F, because I was so embarrassed, but he was a real mench and to this day, I'll give a thumbs up to Dr.
Pohl at San Francisco State, because of it. The way I got through Graduate School was adopting the motto "failure is not an option. The schedule included some down time, though, so I wouldn't lose my mind. I don't guarantee that this will work for you, but it might, and the intense focus on work will leave you little time for mulling How to concentrate on studies after breakup the relationship, so there is that. You might go and talk to at least some of your professors and say "I am really in the weeds on this; how can I get back on track?
When working on large written projects, I find it useful to get some stuff down in a word processor -- get a rough title, three or four quotes that you know you want to use, format the footnotes and the works cited page, build an outline around the quotes, and you go from the infinite amount work represented by an empty document to a finite amount of work maybe only pages of a page paper, but, still, finite.
A somewhat weird suggestion but if you respond well to asmr maybe try putting some on while working I was actually quite nervous about starting my work and this calmed my anxiety immediately and reminded about this question I had seen half an hour ago: So let's say, if you'd like to accomplish X through Z during the day, you could say ok, from 1: It doesn't matter if you actually finish the task you're working on. Just focus on working for the time period you've set up, and try to not make it too long.
Re-evaluate where you're at every once in a while. That way I can just go through the actual action without thinking about it, I don't feel anxious about starting working or what I should start with, and it gives a good active start.
You'll be just fine: That was part of your life, and there's still a lot more to it. How do you proceed? Write the world's worst paper.
I'm in my third year at a top university where the workload is insane. I've been in this situation three times - there's a reason people here tend to plan breakups for when we have winter, spring, and How to concentrate on studies after breakup break. It's some of the worst weeks of school I've ever had. People are telling you to just power on through, basically, but that is actually the opposite of what I've always found helpful. Do you have official people you can talk to about difficult times who will work with your professors for you?
If not, can you talk to some professors about getting deadlines extended by, say, one week? If you can get your deadlines extended, you can try what I do: Cry in bed for a couple of days. Eat when you can.
Walk when you can. Skip class if you need the sleep. Talk to your therapist. Take care of yourself.
Let yourself be in denial for a couple of days. After that, force yourself to think of the breakup in terms of "it's over, and I am okay. You are alive and you're going to stay that way, and things will only continue to get better.
Do what work you can, but don't beat yourself into the ground. Do you need a high GPA for graduate school, jobs, or med school?